I went to Minneapolis this weekend with Nite & Jeff. My new camera takes video as well as still pictures. Hijinks, they did ensue. [flickr]

You can now follow Disgrasian™ on Twitter. So please do. [twitter]

Upcoming birthdays: Kevin, Jeff.

Birthdays I missed: Jacqui, Justin, Olivia.

Blogging from no. 56 bus, as I’ve nothing to read and there is stupid traffic with which to contend. Yay!

Make up your own! Or read mine below:

Act 1: Cleve, an expatriate Flaneur and regular This American Life contributor, finds out he has Consumption when he’s about to go on a road trip to Portmeirion. He takes the road trip anyway.

Act 2: Ira talks about buying Mother’s cigarettes when he was a kid, and how the experience taught him the importance of Being more open-minded. Years later, this lesson comes in handy, as it figures prominently in a commencement speech he gives at Brown.

Act 3: When a crew of Stevedores who are also practicing Christian Scientists find out that refugees from Panama have been forced to settle in their hometown of Brownsville, Texas, they decide to buck the trends and bring them into the small-town fold. Cross-cultural understanding blooms in unexpected ways, as the two groups meet nightly in the local Culver’s to discuss a shared love for Small Wonder reruns.

Finally, Act 4: Ira talks to Aviva, who was raised as an orthodox Jew and who made a pivotal break with her faith at a Boston Red Sox game.

No reason for posting, except that I really should do some work.

Chicago Tribune: “R. Kelly acquitted.” Let the Champagne (and just the Champagne) flow:

While Jacinda and I commence work on “Theatre of Ignorance Presents: ‘R. Town’”, news comes from the Trib that a verdict will be read at 2:00 PM CST (that’s Chicago Stepping Time, y’all).

Naturally, my thought turns to “The Trial of R. Kelly”, the classic episode of “The Boondocks” that aired almost three fucking (or is that pissing?) years ago. To me, it was a perfect episode of any television anywhere, not the least because the writing was fucking hilarious:

Tom Dubois: [about the R. Kelly sex tape] Riley, she was a little girl.
Riley: Oh, I saw that girl. She wasn’t little. I’m little. Gary Coleman’s little. Mini-Me is little. And to the best of my knowledge, we all managed to avoid gettin’ peed on so far!
Tom Dubois: But what about the victim!
Riley: Oh yes! The victim. At what point does personal responsibility become a factor in this equation? I see piss comin’ I run. She saw piss comin’ she stayed. And why should I miss out on the next R. Kelly album just fo’ that?
[walks away]
Huey: Man, you just got beat by an eight-year old.
Riley: [from afar] And if R. Kelly goes to jail, I’ma piss on yo’ cat!

Okay, I guess I’ll go back to behaving myself now.

1. 10 year college reunion was this weekend. My hair was a big old mess on account of the humidity and the fact that I need a haircut. I had a good time. Notes to come shortly.

2. Jacinda and I are going to collaborate on a play about the R. Kelly trial. We’ve come up with a title: “Theatre of Ignorance Presents: ‘R Town’”, so naturally it’s going to be modeled after “Our Town”. The character of the narrator is going to be based on Jacinda’s mom. Oh, and it’s going to be puppets.

3. I was talking to Kathy yesterday about that Obama rally in Oregon that drew 75,000 people, and how some folks were saying that most of them were really just there for a free concert or some shite. Which may be true, but who has the drawing power to pull 75,000? Kathy thinks my following comment should be my new e-mail signature: “The only person who could do that shit is James Brown, and he’s dead. That ain’t James Brown, that’s Al Sharpton in a corset!”

4. My parents and one of my brothers are coming to visit in July and I booked them a room at The Palmer House. Because there is no way we were going to be squeezing into my sad studio.

5. I am still enjoying ‘Doctor Who’, which is nice because it’s summer and there’s fuck all to watch on television. When I was home Saturday morning, I lay in bed and watched ‘Blink’ instead of installing my air conditioner. Have you seen this episode? It’s very light on actual Who-jinks but very scary. SCARY!

6. Back to reunion: attended the big campus party in the fancy gym. It was really nice — good food, beer and wine only, and lounge areas in each corner featuring leather couches and fake bookcases. Hilarious. The band actually played “Falling Slowly”. I didn’t dance, as I had too much gossiping to do. We tried to have a drink at Jimmy’s afterwards (where we saw Father Bob, aka Matt Calhoun, tending bar!) but it was too crowded with drunk seniors (class of ‘08 and class of ‘68, heh) and Jimmy’s still doesn’t have a/c.

7. Belated birthday snaps go out to the following: Adrienne, Jenny, Rozi, and Nadine.

8. Nick was in town last week to hang with a friend who had to spend a few days at the hospital. Nick and I managed to have dinner at Cafe Iberico — delicious, of course.

9. I must now declare it to be the summer of fruity drinks. White and red sangria, frozen margaritas, pina coladas, planter’s punch. Pimm’s Cup! A sweet mixture of Arnold Palmer and Starbucks passion tea lemonade courses through my veins. It’s delicious.

10. Sean Stevenson has returned from his trip to New Zealand. We can begin writing again. But ask him about his trip, as well as obscure LOTR trivia. I’m sure he’s got lots to say.

songs
Feist - Now At Last; Sheena Easton - Strut; Lynda Barry - Naked Ladies

links
http://www.baltimoresun.com/business/yourmoney/bal-bz.ml.ambrose08jun08,0,6446999.column
http://www.pretaportobello.com/index.aspx

So after much hemming and hawing (all in my mind, I assure you), I finally wrote the first dispatch of my weekly column for DISGRASIAN™. It’s going to be about fashion and Asians and “fashionasian”. Not to be confused with “fashionation”. Which itself is not to be confused with “Fashionation”, Cool Hunter’s top-secret (or not?) project.

I Googled “fashionasian” and all I could find were an out-of-date blog and a mysterious web site. Whatevs. I don’t think the word is trademarked so I feel fo-ine.

The post should be up tomorrow (read: Saturday), but here is an introductory post which features my intern badge. My pic is adorable yet surly, no?

So New York has this hilarious story about FashionMeetsFinance, which to me sounds like a regular douche-teria:

A crop of six-figure earners from the likes of JPMorgan, Goldman Sachs, and Fidelity are gathering next week, and they want to make you, fashion girl, their arm candy.

Whenever I get around to organizing a douche safari, surely any FMF event would have to be on the agenda.

My favorite bit of the web site? The part where it lists SilverJet as a sponsor. Yes, the same SilverJet that ceased operations this morning. Nice.

Final note: I sent the NYM link to a few pals. One responded thusly:

If you want to be a shallow whore, I say go for it, but for god’s sake do it right. There is NO WAY this event would not be chock full of poseurs and wanna-bes, mainly because it’s PUBLIC! Who ever heard of such a thing? Wouldn’t it have been better to work through the fashion and finance employers, to create an exclusive pre-vetted guest list? Shit, a drug dealer works in finance. High finance, at that! (ha! made a funny! sorry, I’ll go get a rag & clean it up)

“Brearley School Evicting Its Neighbors to Make Room for Robots”

Gosh. When you put it that way, you make Brearley sound so, well, mean.