225: tall tales and taller drinks

1. something from Dan

“I saw Bruce the other day. He told me he felt like he talked to me all the time because he kept getting updates on me via flipfront.” (Dan Meltz, 12/11/02)

2. AOL Instant Messenger Chat: Patrick ‘Beyonce’ Davila vs. Jasmine ‘Imelda’ Davila, 12/6/02, Pt. 1

KRUNKLE: Britney Spears goes punk! – NME.COM (Patrick includes link to story about Miss Britney wanting to work with William Orbit and Daft Punk – http://www.nme.com/news/103701.htm).

JasmineDavila: Um, weren’t they the hot-hot-hottypants producers back in, say, ’97?

KRUNKLE: hey i still like them

JasmineDavila: I do, too. But if she wants hot, she needs to make a record with Missy Elliot.

KRUNKLE: or timbaland

JasmineDavila: She could call her next record “I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Chocha”

KRUNKLE: bwa haha

KRUNKLE: brilliant

3. a beautiful life

I was on the bus Tuesday night and spent the entire 30 minute trip from the Loop to my house listening to a woman talk about how it was okay to diss her crazy ass because she loves God and the South Side.

I got a manicure Thursday night. It was fun, even though I wasn’t in a talkative mood and neither was my manicurist. Fortunately, a lawyer in her forties talked about her recent stint of jurdy duty. And her upcoming family reunion, where every member of the family had to wear purple for the duration. She doesn’t wear purple, and neither does her mother, so she bought lacy purple underpants for the both of them. She bought herself three purple thongs.

I’ve never bought my mom underwear, let alone purple thongs, and I don’t suppose I ever will.

The manicurist huffed at the nail polish I brought in, not because the shade was bad (Nars ‘Jungle Red’ – yep, after the polish in “The Women”) but because the brush was hard to work with. My nails are still gorgeous, though, and all set for the company Christmas party tonight.

And I’m so excited about the party tonight, because Sebastian will be my date. And Celi is in town to surprise Nate. Also, maybe the boy I have a crush on at work may show up tonight, so I am all twitterpated because I am a big dork. And we actually had a conversation this week. Granted it was about packet-switching and setting firewall rules, but it was me and him. Alone in a room. Ooh-la-la.

4. faking the funk

I was looking at the cover of ELLE Girl, which featured Mandy Moore and Kelly Osbourne sporting tiaras and Chanel jewelry. The jewelry stuck out in my mind’s eye because it was supercute (pink pearls! diamante tiaras! rhinestone pins in the shape of floppy bows!) and super-expensive. So when I got dressed this morning, I started piling on bracelets, and managed to fake the look with the following items:

a. two (2) faux pearl bracelets – $3 for a pack of five (5) from H & M (see http://www.hm.com for locations)

b. one (1) goldtone trolley-themed charm bracelet – $5 from the Minneapolis RiverCity Trolley gift shop (http://rivercitytrolley.com)

c. one (1) turquoise Hello Kitty beaded bracelet with camellia-shaped charm – $2.99 for pack of four (4) bracelets from Target (www.target.com – please note that these bracelets are actually party favors, and can be found in the party favor/paper goods section of the store)

5. AOL Instant Messenger Chat: Patrick ‘Beyonce’ Davila vs. Jasmine ‘Imelda’ Davila, 12/6/02, Pt. 2

KRUNKLE: i really like blue monday vs cant get you out of my head (note: we’re now discussing the recent ‘mash-up’ trend in pop music)

JasmineDavila: Oooh, New Order vs. Kylie! I’d like to see that ping-pong tournament.

KRUNKLE: bwa ha ha

JasmineDavila: “Can’t Get You Out of My Chocha”!

6. my menu

I think I need to open a restaurant and serve the following

Dorothy Parker House Rolls

Edgar Alan Polish Sausage

J.R. Tolkien-House Cookies

Jean Jacques Rousseau-st Pork Loin

Francis Bacon & Eggs

Cotton Gandhi

Sgt. Pepper

John Denver Omelet

Ezra Pound Cake

Michel Foucault-la

Joyce Carole Oats

Condaleeza Rice

Britney Asparagus Spears

Josephine Baker’s Chocolate

8. the last (I swear) AOL Instant Messenger Chart: Patrick ‘Beyonce’ Davila vs. Jasmine ‘Imelda’ Davila (12/12/02)

KRUNKLE: listening to wilco

JasmineDavila: Listening to W.I.T.

KRUNKLE: what the hecKis that?

JasmineDavila: http://www.electRoclash.com/wit.html

KRUNKLE: moRe electRoclash

KRUNKLE: geez aRe yoUsome soRt of genetically engineeRed ubeRhipsteR?



“I got a bearskin rug, I got a fireplace too. And I’m all the way wild baby.”

Morris Day & The Time, “Jungle Love”

“I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move.”

Spike, “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”


N*E*R*D – Stay Together; Further Seems Forever – Bye Bye Bye; The Time – My Drawers; Tahiti 80 – Puzzle; Handsome Boy Modeling School feat. Dave and Del Tha Funkee Homosapien) – The Projects (P Jays)





“The first man who can explain how he can be in love with his wife — and another woman — is gonna win that prize they’re always giving out in Sweden.”


~ by Jasmine on December 13, 2002.

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