318 teaser: sneezing in the cabbage

So hi. It’s been over a month. I understand you miss the flip front. I miss it, too. I killed the logic board on my old iBook, so I am computer-less. I would write at work, but would you believe I’ve been busy? So in the meantime, while I compose myself, gather my notes, and wait for BestBuy to repair my sad little digital camera, please amuse yourself with the following track lists from my and my brother’s imaginary forthcoming emo records. Comments are, of course, welcome. My own notes are in bracket.

Patrick’s record

1 if you club my seal, then i will break out again

2 my girlfriend left me for my mom and now wants me to artificially inseminate her

3 acutane makes me wanna fly airplanes

4 when i get angry i make this tuff face

5 breast implant scare me

6 when i look at my best friend jimmy i get all funny

7 bake sales for caring

8 garden state makes me wanna direct a movie because i am a disaffected person with too much money and time on my hands

9 we’re rocking out for tit cancer

10 why does my poetry make me cry

11 only asian girls understand me

bonus tracks – i hate myself a lot, but not enough to do something

my imaginary emo record

1. My Mao t-shirt in Chinatown [thanks, Jacinda]

2. it never ends [anti-war/anti-nukes/anti-everything protest song]

3. above it all [Joy Division rip-off]

4. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck (i’m still in love with you)

5. the small gourd [tribute to autumn]

6. scratch your back

7. the secret misery of you

8. united states of me

9. maurice in the morning [tribute to morrissey]

10. when i think of you, i bear down

11. evensong (steve albini 7″ dance mix)

bonus tracks – jerusalem; the lover in me [yeah, the sheena easton song]

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~ by Jasmine on October 18, 2004.

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