What, no Chrismukkah cards?
When my friend Jacincda was a kid, her mother would punish various misdeeds and childhood crimes not with a slap on the wrist or a slap on the fanny, but with a vigorous session of essay-writing. Stay out too late? Fighting with your sister? Jacinda and her sister Jalissa (the neighborhood kids called their mom Cindy “Ja-mamma’!) would put pen to paper for an essay on their behavior. Yeah, you might think it sounds soft, punishment-wise, but you’ve obviously never seen a haggard eight year old hunched over an IBM Selectric trying to format her footnotes just right. And besides, Jacinda (an assistant director at a hip gallery here in Chicago) and her sister (second year law student at DePaul) are now ace essay-writers.
So I think that these girls should fork over the $16.95 for “The Truth About Christmas” card from Knock Knock. Alternately enchanting and edifying, this essay on the merits of Christmas should provide “Ja-mamma” with Christmas cheer for years to come.