327: 2004 in review

My friend Jeff likes to send out a list of best and worst albums/films at the end of the calendar year, to spark debate amongst his friends and give us ideas on what to get him for his birthday (note to self: find out release date of “I ♥ Huckabees” on DVD).

I myself can’t keep track of things that I found noteworthy in 2004 that may or may not have been released in 2004. I’m usually way behind, and never spot-on or ahead of the trends. So, in no particular order, and in no particular category, my pop culture moments of 2004:

1. a quote from my evil genius brother, Patrick:

recently a black musician of immense stature passed away. his music spoke to many people and he brought american together. also a film of his life will probably have jamie foxx as him.

ol’ dirty bastard. god bless you. whether it was your mtv special on your life when you still collected welfare checks and admitted to getting burned not once, but twice, by gonorrhea, your rapidly changing names from ODB to big baby jesus to osirus or the general mayhem you caused whether running from the law, getting shot twice, or saving a child by lifting a car off her (true story) you are an inspiration. as one former resident of brooklyn to another, i salute you

2. Andy Bell announces that he is HIV+

3. Britney uses gas station bathrooms whilst barefoot, as documented by US Weekly. I find this more horrifying than the fact that she married some guy who dumped his pregnant girlfriend for her. Who knew that she and Claire Danes could have so much in common when it came to picking boyfriends? I can’t wait for them to collaborate on a dating guide — it seems totally meant to be.

4. I see Tichina Arnold, formerly of TV sitcom “Martin”, checking into the Mondrian. None of the good-looking-if-you-like-the-look-of-golden-retrievers bellmen help her.

5. I screen a bootleg copy of “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” in my apartment and *nobody* has weed.

6. I am delighted by the “Shrek 2” sequel, but find that I forget all about it when I go see “The Incredibles”, which is fucking awesome.

7. “America! Fuck YEAH!” With the aid of some flexible marionettes, Matt Stone & Trey Parker teach America how to laugh . . . and how to toss one’s salad (DVD outtake only).

8. I discover www.awfulplasticsurgery.com, manoloshoes.blogspot.com, and fuggingitup.blogspot.com, which are like US Weekly on crank.

9. “Degrassi: The Next Generation” is great — if you live in Canada or Australia. In the US, The N refuses to air episodes depicting a student finding out she is preggers and then opting to have an abortion. If ever there was a reason to move to Canada, apart from our US presidential results, this would be it.

10. I didn’t see this personally, but Senator Barack Obama is namechecked on “Jack & Karen”, aka “Will and Grace”.

11. Moonboots return to overpriced boutiques everywhere.

12. As does Chanel Vamp lipstick and nail polish, thank Jebus.

13. Daily Candy debuts in Chicago and, I think, Boston and San Francisco. They turn me down for a job, which is fine, as I haven’t written for any sort of paper in years, but did they have to let me know on my birthday?

14. “Imelda” the movie is everything I thought it would be. Go see it if you want to see how Imelda Marcos is holding up, or if you want to see a political rally for her daughter Imee where everyone dances around to Depeche Modes’ “Just Can’t Get Enough”.

15. I’m never going to see a movie starring Bob Dylan ever again.

16. Linara Washington is this year’s Eddie Shin, aka U of C actor type who is successful (I’ve stopped counting the number of commercials I’ve seen her in this year) and not one of those annoying UT types that scared me off doing theater in college.

17. ‘news from the flip front’ appears in blog form to massive indifference. Though bloglet tells me I have 15 subscribers through them, so ha ha. Take that, Daily Candy!

18. Nick asks me to write for Mr. Oatses’s Noteses, the erratic though seminal newsletter about “The O.C.”. I write about fashion and its sexy results in a column called “The Nipple Slip”. Maureen Dowd calls personally to congratulate me. Okay, so maybe I made up that last bit.

19. “The Office” Christmas special — Tim + Dawn 4-EVER!

20. The WB cancels ‘Angel’ though it has it’s best-rated season in years. I’m not surprised, but I’m still pretty fucking disappointed. Thankfully, Joss Whedon is working on a big screen version of his cancelled-before-its-time sci-fi drama, “Firefly”. This gives me hope that Joss Whedon will announce plans of a Buffy/Angel feature film, assuming of course Alyson Hannigan has finished making those damn piefucker movies.

21. VOTE FOR PEDRO: “Napoleon Dynamite” made me laugh so hard. What’s not to love? Napoleon gets knocked off his bicycle when Uncle Rico throws a steak at him. Pedro and the wig. Uncle Rico gets his glamour portrait from Deb. Kip meets LaFawnduh. It’s brilliant.

22. I finally visit Las Vegas. Though I don’t meet anyone who looks like Elvis who drives a racecar, I do feel a bit glamorous staying in a pyramid-shaped hotel.

In the next “flip front”: recap of office Christmas party. Yeah, that’s it, and it’s not even all that good. No illicit smoochies, though the same guy who hit on me last year when he was drunk . . . hit on me again!

Cheers,

Jasmine

“Leslie and I have an amazing relationship and it’s very physical, he still pushes all my buttons. People say ‘Oh, but he’s so much older than you’ and you know what, I’m the one having to push him away. We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

(Sherri Ann Cabot)

*songs*

Lou Monte – Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey; Bing Crosby – White Christmas

*links*

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/09/technology/circuits/09ipod.html

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~ by Jasmine on December 15, 2004.

One Response to “327: 2004 in review”

  1. Other stuff wot I forgot:

    a. Prince and George Harrison getting inducted into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame — I’m not so much into the induction as the induction ceremony. Did anybody catch Prince *killing* on lead guitar on “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” for George’s induction? Fucking sick.

    b. Posh-Becks nativity scene at Madam Tussaud’s in Londonc. The exponential increase of Flips (Filipinos on Friendster) — I’m only related to, like, half of them.

    d. the end of “Sex and The City” — it’s about bleeding time. Everytime I saw SJP on screen, I wanted to offer her a carrot (hiss!).

    e. Yarmuclaus and other ephemera otherwise inspired by “The O.C.”

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