In exactly twelve days, my friends Nick and Nadine will be married.
As a bridesmaid, I will stand up for them and . . . I’m not sure what else. The couple is not terribly traditional, as far as the wedding goes. As far as I know my only duty as a bridesmaid is to show up. I’m going to assume that I should probably not start stripping during the ceremony, or show up with vomit all down my dress.
Nadine already hooked up the bridesmaids with our gifts — black (faux) pearl necklaces. I still need to find an extender thingy so mine will fit around my chubby neck — otherwise, I’m ready to go. As far as gifts go, I’ve been lucky. My presents for standing up in other weddings range from the most comfortable slippers I’ve ever owned to a Coach wristlet in pistachio green. While I already have my present from Nadine, this has not stopped me from trolling the “interweb” for favors that I may choose to bestow on my bridesmaids once I manage to convince somebody to marry me.
But let’s stick to the talking points. There are two featured items discussed in this post. First up — a tussy mussy, a small silver vase you can use to carry (and later better display) your bouquet. Dating back to Victorian England, the tussy mussy was originally the bouquet itself. I think it’s a stupid name for a fairly useless object. I mean, they can be cute and all, but I think I’d rather have a gift certificate for a massage or something.
The second item — a hanky. A wedding dress hanky from TheKnot.com, which claims this is so adorable that nobody would want to take it off its wee hanger. Really? I’d actually take the hanger and use it in my “Mommie Dearest” shoebox tableau, but maybe that’s just me. I mean, I totally cry at weddings, but I’d rather just blink them away (as not to ruin my mascara) or find the shoulder of some cute guy to cry on.