lingerie for the lonely single lady

So Jacinda and Nadine have my number. They know why I am so very ambivalent about dating and boys and, well, the intercourse. So I’ve taken it upon myself to, you know, help myself. Therapy has been suggested, as has just going out and getting some ass, but I believe that these things must be taken One. Step. At. A. Time.

Clearly, window-shopping for sexy lingerie might be speeding up those steps, but I can’t help it. I do so love to shop, especially for those occasions that have yet to be. Thoreau: “I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.” Well, I’m working on becoming a new wearer, a new me, and the new me is just as much of a shopper as the old me.

I haven’t set foot in a Frederick’s of Hollywood in some time. I used to go to the one at Ford City to shop for sleep masks and giggle at the massage oils. I no longer live anywhere near that mall, but the hankering for pretty things to wear in bed persists. Behold the mesh and lace babydoll. Apart from the obvious fact that it is totally adorable, it’s a plus-sized garment (that sadly is not modeled on a plus-size model), and it doesn’t look like a muu-mmu (Lane Bryant, I’m looking at you).

“But wait!” Lane Bryant cries. “We’re working on it! Check out this satin chemise! Note the lacy bits up top! The delicious satin!” And I confess I do, in fact, like this chemise (and the similarly sumptuous halterneck babydoll).

In all honesty, though, I’d rather be about 100 pounds lighter so I can feel free to splurge on Agent Provocateur. AP makes expensive gorgeous little lacy things, including what I think are an elegant pair of what you folks might call “crotchless panties” but the lovely proprietors of AP prefer to call Ouvert. That’s the French word for “open”, of course. Do all French folks generally refer to crotch-challenged underpants this way?

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~ by Jasmine on September 5, 2005.

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