what would an action figure of hugh grant do?

Its functions would be as follows:

  • Stammering phrases from some of his best known films, including

    • Four Weddings and a Funeral: “I-I just wondered… ehh. I really feel, ehh, in short, to recap it slightly in a clearer version, eh, the words of David Cassidy in fact, eh, while he was still with the Partridge family, eh, “I think I love you,” and eh, I-I just wondered by any chance you wouldn’t like to… Eh… Eh… No, no, no of course not… I’m an idiot, he’s not… Excellent, excellent, fantastic, eh, I was gonna say lovely to see you, sorry to disturb… Better get on…”
    • Notting Hill: “It’s as if I’ve taken love heroin, and now I can’t ever have it again.”
    • Bridget Jones’s Diary: “Fuck me, I love Keats.”
    • About A Boy: “I am an island. I am bloody Ibiza!”
    • Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason: “I spent the night with a gorgeous Thai girl who turned out to be a gorgeous Thai boy!”

  • Running hands through thick shock of wavy brown hair.
  • Easily removed trousers for Divine Brown doll (not included).
  • Easy pelvic thrust motion, just like his character in Music & Lyrics (which I just saw tonight, which is the inspiration for this whole post in the first place).

~ by Jasmine on February 15, 2007.

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