Note: All times are Central. Deal with it, suckers.
8:00: “Any decision involving Suede not going home is a good one.” How about changing your name?
8:02: Kelli gets first pick at the models, so she sticks with her model from the first. Jerell is salty because Jennifer took his model. Ooh! And Belle is out, even though she was super-cute.
8:04: Next challenge is cocktail dresses, where the models are clients. The designers head off to the workroom, where Tim fills them in on the details. Green fabrics — cool but kinda ho-hum. The twist? The models are going to pick the material. Uh-oh.
8:06: Mood is mayhem as the models shop for organic fabrics. Models return to surprise the designers (who are preparing to be let down), who find the models made bad choices in fabric, and didn’t even get much. What is Keith going to do with peacock feathers? Jerell’s model must have gotten some help from him, as she brought back good fabrics, trimmings in abundance.
8:11: Patrick: “this shit is fucking wack.” I agree.
8:16: Emily seems sincere but sounds flaky when talking about what she’d like to do to save the environment.
8:16: Blayne thinks Heidi is like Darth Vader, all shiny on the outside but crazy on the inside.
8:17: Kenley’s Bettie Page drag is starting to bug me, and we’re only in the second challenge. Korto is working with her model’s curvy figure. Stella is having problems with Kendall’s hippie aesthetic clashing with her urban sensibility.
8:19: Keith’s fucking hot. Yes, even with that weird rattail thingie. And Suede’s the kind of dude who talks about himself in the third person. Oh dear.
8:19: Wesley, Joe, and Leanne have the same fabric. Leanne’s reaction is to start going crazy with circles.
8:20: Korto worries that her pleating looks too much like Wesley’s. Leanne doesn’t think so, and maybe Korto’s just a little paranoid? Just another distraction — just get back to work!
8:21: Tim checks in. To Korto: “Everything on this has to be perfection, or you’re going to be dealing with a hot mess.” OMFG, I bet he and Christian are BFF.
8:23: Patrick: “leane is a poor mans cat power.”
8:24: No immunity, but the winner will have their dress made and sold by Bluefly.com. And because the challenge is about young, beautiful women, the guest judge will be… Natalie Portman. Okay, Tim doesn’t give it away, but it’s already been spoiled all over the web.
8:26: C-break. I’m scanning Christian Siriano’s collection at Bluefly. I lurve this dress. Too bad I’m too fat for it. Boo hoo!
8:28: Stell’s droning about “making her leathuh”, and everybody’s still complaining about the crappy fabric. Blayne makes fun of Stella, but she dishes him right back, everybody laughs, and the tension is broken. Aw.
8:30: Somebody should have told Daniel, who is super-nervous, and not close to being finished. He’s not the only one freaking, as designers are coming in to find broken zippers, etc. Tim is disappointed that most folks are not finished, but comfortable that they can finish up. “Make it work!”
8:31: Blayne: “Come ‘ere, Liciousness!” Whatever.
8:34: Models head off to the runway. I miss a lot of last-minute rushing as I IM with Patrick about how, no matter who it is, the chief makeup artist is always a total sweetie whenever called upon to consult with the designers for a particularly critical challenge. So zen.
8:35: Alison’s turn to make a dress inspired by the Saturn Aura. So cute to hear her say “Saturn” with her cute lisp. I wanna carry her around in a cupcake purse. Does that sound weird?
8:38: Heidi welcomes the designers to the runway, reiterating the challenge and the prize: the winning look will be manufactured and sold by Bluefly.com. They meet the judges — Michael, Nina, and… an empty chair, which is soon taken by Natalie Portman. The designers cheer for Natalie, who walks down the runway in a beautiful green dress. She plugs the vegan shoe line — which is expensive, considering it uses fake leather.
- Keith: Looks like gold curtains.
- Terri: Ruffles!
- Wesley: Shiny, and the fit? Hm.
- Jerell: Sexy? It’s very Michael Knight to me, with the reverse cleavage.
- Jennifer: Floaty and pretty and orange and gray.
- Daniel: Skirt looks totally uneven. Probably on purpose but messy.
- Joe: There’s a port hole.
- Suede: Tu-tu!
- Kenley: Big ruffle! Feels very Daniel Vosovic.
- Kelli: Out of her realm, but has to admit the model looks good.
- Leanne: Proud, green materials are modern, so her design is a winner, yes?
- Stella: Um, what? Laces down the side of a short one-shoulder.
- Blayne: Judges respond, but how?
- Emily: It’s pretty even if she didn’t have as much fabric.
- Korto: Happy she could take a green fabric and make it elegant.
- Kenley: Organic silk. She wanted to keep it simple and classic. Nina likes the streamlined silhouette. Natalie felt the look stood out as being an adult, glamorous dress. Michael: “It’s chic.”
- Wesley: Wanted more volume originally. Heidi feels it’s completely overworked. Nina: “I think shiny, tight, and short is the quickest way to look cheap.”
- Stella: Nina says “It’s much improved from last time.” Bwahahahahaha.
- Korto: Loved the fabric, wanted to accentuate her model’s curves. To Natalie, the dress looks inside out.
- Suede: He explains how he used the bias strips to make patterns. It’s really fucking cute. Natalie totally would wear it. The judges are impressed that he took the same satin the other designers had and made it into something new.
- Leanne: It’s not quite what the model pictured, unfortunately. Petals, asymmetrical, it’s all over the place.
8:48: The judges discuss, and dismiss. Love for Suede, Kenley, Stella?. Did not like Wesley (too tight, too short, tortured the fabric), Korto (fins!), Leanne (all over the place).
8:53: C-break. Patrick likes Stella’s dress. Which I think is a bit too Frederick’s of Hollywood: observe.
8:54: Patrick: “I think [Eliot Spitzer] should be a guest judge.”
8:56: Stella is in, and the winner is… Suede! Yay! He gives love to his mom. Kenley is safe, and leaves the runway. Following her is Korto, also in, but she can’t help breaking down when she gets backstage.
8:57: Wesley’s design was unflatting, and had poor fit. Leanne had too many ideas: “We asked for fashion, and we got a school project.” Leanne, however, is in. Really? Leanne whispers “Thank you so much.” as she slouches off the runway. Wesley, though auf’d, is proud to have even made it, and can leave with his head held high.
8:59: Patrick: “poor man zac posenis gone.”