Friday, August 22
- Patrick turns 27. I always call Patrick by his real name, which is “Patrick” on this blog. I don’t have an alias for him or for anyone else. Why don’t I? I probably should.
- Work is, well, work. I get stuff done. I eat the catered lunch (beef and chicken for fajitas, ceviche, literal mounds of guacamole), forgetting that I’m having dinner at Las Tablas later that evening with Rozi, Andrew, and Andrew’s cousin, Julie. I join co-workers for drinks after work.
- I take the bus to the restaurant. I miss my stop by a few stops. I walk to where I think the restaurant is. It’s not there. I panic, call Andrew, who insists that it’s just down the street, behind a tree that I swear was not there on Lincoln Avenue when I looked before.
- Andrew and Rozi’s shared entree is about the size of, um, my ass? Something big.
- We have dessert at Chaos Theory Cakes, which is just up the street. And the avocado cupcake with black pepper? It’s tasty as fuck. So, um, you should order it.
Saturday, August 23
- Biden! My Twitter friends are, well, atwitter. I resolve to write Pharcyde’s “Ya Mama” as “Jobama”.
- I am no poet.
- Take bus to AT&T store, where I buy Patrick his birthday iPhone. The iPhone was my dad’s idea, and I have to say it’s a pretty genius one. Though I wonder if we (me, dad, and the possible siblings who may chip in) are just getting this to compensate for Patrick’s less than stellar romantic life.
- Lunch from the noodle place on the 7th floor of Macy’s on State Street. Read more of Hotel Bemelmans, which is fascinating and hilarious and now I want to work in a fancy pants hotel in 1920’s New York.
- Oh, who cares. Free iPhone for the brother! Alas, I spend too much time at the office trying to find packing material to send it that I get to the post office right after they close.
- My Saturday night might have involved a pizza and ‘Notting Hill’ on cable. Mind you, this is a movie I already own but cannot find because my apartment is, as the English might say, “a tip”.
- I delete several recordings of the same episodes of ‘Doctor Who’ from my DVR. Is it just me or is the episode featuring the girl whose drawings come to life during the 2012 London summer Olympics kinda sucky?
Sunday, August 24
- I am determined to see a movie today
- Mail Patrick’s iPhone. The Fort Dearborn and Ashland Station post offices are open on Sundays, albeit lobby only with Automated Postal Centers.
- Call Kathy to see if she’s eaten. She has. Dammit. This is a problem because, when left to my own devices, I make bad food choices.
- My devices have shit for brains. I go to McDonald’s. Is it somehow less evil because I went to the former Rock n’ Roll McDonald’s which is kinda fancy?
- I buy a ticket to the 1:45 showing of ‘The House Bunny’ at River East. I love my iPhone, though I don’t know about how well it enables me to buy stuff.
- I magically end up at the Sephora in the Northbridge Mall on Michigan Avenue. I buy some lip balm and a tube of red lipstick. Because the 20 tubes of red lipstick I have at home are lonely.
- Buy bottled water and a packet of Sharpie markers at Walgreen’s. While at Walgreen’s, read Essence with the Obamas on the cover.
- Walk to movie theater, were I am 45 minutes early. Kill time reading book in lobby until I can no longer stand the cacophony of other people’s stupid conversations.
- Wonder why I am all misanthropic all of a sudden. If I am a misanthrope at all.
- There is no problem that can’t be solved with a giant Diet Coke and some popcorn.
- Theater is full of groups of girlfriends, a few straight couples, some gays and their hags, and me. One other lone lady is reading a book while waiting for the movie to start.
- The trailer for Nights in Rodanthe does not look anything like Night at the Museum. Yes, I know they’re not related to each other.
- For once, no trailer for Diane English’s remake of “The Women”. I’m extremely grateful for this.
- Movie starts! House Bunny brain-dump starts now:
- Anna Faris is hilarious, which offsets any hatred I may have on her based solely on the fact that her thighs don’t touch.
- Cameos! Hef, Holly, Bridget, and Kendra from ‘The Girls Next Door’.
- I never wanted to be a Bunny or a Playmate, but I always loved the Bunny uniform from the old Playboy club.
- Is Emma Stone really the new Lindsay Lohan? Is that a compliment or an insult? Do I even know what that means?
- Colin Hanks v. cute. What is it with me and nerdy White boys?
- I know comparisons to ‘Legally Blonde’ are inevitable, but I’m feeling more like this is ‘Revenge of The Nerds’, one of my favorite movies of all time. Seriously.
- Emerge from movie. It’s only 3:30. Trader Joe’s for a bottle of lambic and some frozen veg, then home. On the bus home, I get an e-mail from Nick. Attached is his text for an intro to our book proposal. I can’t open the .rtf on my phone, so I just reply with a bunch of reasons why this book should be published. I hope they’re really as funny as I think they are.
- Stop at Windy City Sweets for milkshake. Forget to tip. Damn.
- Make orange chicken for dinner.
- Flip through channels, settle on Olympics closing ceremony before ‘Mad Men’ comes on at 9:00.
- When I grow up, I want to be Leona Lewis.
- Jimmy Page – now with less bloat!
- If I could afford him, I’d like to hire Zhang Yimou to orchestrate my wedding. Assuming I ever got married.
- Tweet invite to Twitter pals to travel to Vancouver for 2010 and London for 2012. My girl Christina in LA heeds the call, and assures me she’ll practice her Canadian brogue.
- ‘Mad Men’ continues to astound me, even though there was little to no Paul Kinsey for me to ogle. I am reminded of when I was little and had crushes on cartoon characters like Roy Fokker on Macross. I’m sad I didn’t put together an audition video for an AMC contest where first prize is a walk-on role on the show. But seriously — what role could be written for an Asian person on the show? It’s Madison Avenue in 1962. The last time I saw Asian people on this show was when the guys put a family of Chinese immigrants in Pete’s office to greet him upon his return from his honeymoon.
- ‘Skins’ is quite good, though the Mad Twatter scares the shit out of me. Did anyone else think he and his stooge were going to assault Jal before he went ahead and destroyed her clarinet? Also, I could have used more Cassie (she’s so awesome) but was glad to see more of Michelle (especially after last week’s episode where we see the morning after what must have been an insane party at her house just as her mother and new stepfather come home from vacation).
Monday, August 25
- What’s better than an episode of ‘Family Matters’? An episode featuring special guest stars R&B sensations New Edition play themselves. Who can sleep?